Making my way from Cotton Blossom to Steel Magnolia

Thursday, July 31, 2014

This is really happening!!

The Story

About seven years before I was born, my (then teenage) dad and his (even younger) high school girlfriend found themselves pregnant, with twins..

Kids having kids.

Her parents adopted the babies and moved away shortly afterwards, raising them as their own children.

My Dad grew up a bit, met my mother, she had me. He married Mom, then came Maggie.
TaaDaa, my family..

Then one day when I was about 12 years old my Mother told me the story for the first time.

I was honestly a little surprised that they had kept this from me. Even at 12 I thought it wasn't worth the secrecy.

These things happen.

This was the only time It was ever discussed in my family..

Outside of my family though, that's different..
Ive never kept my curiosity to myself!

Ive often daydreamed about these two brothers of mine..

You see, My sister is my best friend in the entire world! We are alike and different in all the best ways. Our voices sound the same even though were always talking about different things. Our days pretty much always end with tequila, though for different reasons. We can laugh, love and fight with each other only with the sideways glances the keep other people out of our loop.
So if I have all of this with my sister, surely some of it has to be based in our genetics?

Ive always believed that nature and nurture play equal parts in who we are.

Would I be able to read my brothers like I can read my sister?

If one day, I randomly ran into one of them, would I recognize him? If I did, would I know why? Would I feel the connection with them that I feel with the siblings I was raised with?

Would they look like me?
Would they like me?
Would they even want to have anything to do with me?

Do they even know that I exist?

Do they know where they came from?

I knew their first names and their birth-mother's first name and I was pretty sure I knew their last name but that was it..

By the time I was 16 I knew I would have to track them down one day.
 There was an open window in my heart and I couldn't get away from the draft.
I knew I would have to wait until Dad died.
It was too much to wonder about.
They weren't just characters that had been living in my imagination, they were real people and I needed to know them.
I needed them to know me.

and that was it

until about a month ago

I remember that I lost grip of my phone, I heard it hit the bathroom floor and then I followed my phone to the ground.
I came back to just a second later, Did I faint?
I don't faint..
In 30 years Ive passed out on two other occasions and both involving extreme physical pain.
What happened?
I saw my phone on the floor and remembered exactly what happened.
It was the story, the second time id ever heard it..
I got a fbook message from a woman I had never met. She was helping her niece track down her paternal biological grandfather.
She told me the story and wondered if my father could be the father of these twin boys..
I didn't answer her at first. I wasn't sure how to.
I didn't tell my sister immediately either, I'm still not sure why I didn't frantically call Magpie.
It was the proverbial ton of bricks..

I was going to find them one day.

I never (like never ever not in a million years ever EVER) expected them to appear in my world!

Especially not in the shape of a pretty, bright, blonde, teenage girl..
(Broome women are a few things; stern, cool, aloof and old.. high brows and pursed lips)

After two days the shock and awe wore off and I sent my sister a picture I took from this girls facebook and asked if they looked familiar?

They should, its our older brother and his daughter, our niece..

This is happening Mags..

So now a month or so has passed and Ive developed fbook relationships with these people who have so willingly accepted me as family. Both of my brothers, nieces, nephews, spouses, Moms and Aunts..
My sons went from having 3 cousins to 11 cousins (a 12th coming soon) overnight..

And on Saturday (deep breath, deep breath, like THIS Saturday) I will do something that I have been waiting twenty years to do.

I am going to meet my one of my brothers.

That window will finally start to close.

I still really cant believe it.
Every time I realize that I am less than 48 hours from this I just start to boohoo like a bitch..
I just really hope I can get through Saturday without hysterically sobbing. I don't like to cry, it makes me feel helpless and I don't cute cry. I cry with sobs and heaves and snot and swollen eyes..

So that's it..
Its happening..
On Saturday..
Hopefully ill have some pictures up pretty quickly to share with everyone..


No comments:

Post a Comment